Episode 73Pete needs to hit the gym at the Academy. He's sitting a lot lower in the driver's seat and the springs are fine. He's been putting on weight and his landlady is the culprit. She thinks he's undernourished and keeps bringing him fattening foods like pies and cakes.
Jim can't understand why his partner just doesn't refuse her calorie-laden contributions. Pete doesn't think it's as easy as that.
|"You ever try telling a woman you don't like her cooking?"|
|"Almost every night, I'm married."|
|"If you're gonna steal one you may as well run an ad."|
As the pursuit continues, the lead black and white becomes faster and more erratic. But then, the chase just sort of peters out (no pun intended) and the stolen car gets slower and slower until it eventually stops. "Looks like the joy's gone out of the ride," quips Pete as they pull up behind pilfered patrol car.
As Pete and Jim walk up to shop 80-265 with their revolvers drawn, the cheery suspect bounces out of the car and says, "Hi!".
|"I don't know are you?"|
|"And you're under arrest in L.A."|
|"In a police car, code 3?"|
|"I wouldn't plan on it."|
|"Now you're going code 2 to the station."|
After some more questions she decides that cashing the check at this store isn't worth the hassle, she'll just take it to the bank. Malloy stops her with a blunt statement.
|"This is not your check, miss."|
|"I think you've got quite awhile to go before you qualify."|
Once the tears start flowing, so does the truth. Her real name is Lainie Marshall and she found the check and ID in a purse on the street. Lainie thought it would be easy to cash the check with the identification. She's never done anything like this and she's doesn't know why she did it today.
|[Don't forget about me, I'm in this scene, too.|
I don't do much, but I'm here.]
|"Yes, ma'am, it's what you did after you found it."|
So far, it's been a big day for first offenders. But, otherwise, it's been quiet for a Saturday.
|Does that billboard count as a "Stalker Mustang" sighting?|
Reed replies, "Why not?"
They decide the first place they'll go, sans jackets, is to Merit Drug. It's been getting robbed pretty regularly by hypes looking for codeine. "Some of the kids are eating it like candy," says Malloy.
It's also quiet over at Merit Drug this Saturday. Jim checks out the lot and finds the gate undisturbed and locked up tight. He gets back into the car and they head of the parking lot. On their way out they meet up with another black and white.
|"Somebody's gotta stop those guys who keep|
knocking over your warehouses."
|"Well, if you'd like to observe the experts |
at work, feel free to tag along."
When their next call comes over the radio, Jim is relieved that it's not a family dispute. Those type of calls are starting to get to him. But it's nothing a few days off wouldn't cure. Their next call is a 459 report at 207 Kelmore.
At the Kelmore address they meet up with a parking garage attendant who gives them the rundown on recent burglaries in the garage. Car strippers hit two times last month and many more times the month before. He's about to pull his hair out over all of this.
|What hair he has left, anyway.|
|The thieves stole it.|
|"That's rubbing it in."|
But, Hulu closed captioning thinks she said "212 next quarter". Which is hilarious since McWhirter is Kent McCord's real last name. The last name he changed at the suggestion of Universal Studios because people could not spell or pronounce it. This closed captioning mix-up seems to illustrate that point perfectly.
At 212 McWhirter an elderly woman in a nightgown, robe, and slippers looks outside from her front window. When she hears a knock at her door, she first smoothes down her unkempt hair, then proceeds to answer the door.
When she opens the door Officer Malloy is on the other side with his flashlight in hand. He reports that there is no prowler outside.
|Now we know why she wanted |
to look presentable.
With nothing else to do here, Malloy and Reed say goodnight to Mrs. Pierce. Malloy promises her that they will patrol the area more often and keep an eye on her place. This makes her feel much better.
Before the officers are out the door, Mrs. Pierce has something to tell them. She grabs Malloy's arm and whispers in his ear that it could have been a peeping tom after all.
|[Sure thing, ma'am.]|
In the car Reed chuckles about Mrs. Pierce making all of those prowler reports. Then his mood turns more somber as he reasons that she's probably frightened and lonely and just wants someone to talk to.He also figures that she may be right next time, there might be a real prowler at her house. Malloy reminds him that it's all part of the job.
|"That's one of the reasons we're here, partner."|
|[Hey, Pete, I hear the mortuary is really popular. |
People are dying to get in there.]
[Keep making jokes like that and you
may be one of those people.]
Inside the darkened establishment Pete and Jim find no signs of life in the first two parlors they check out. But the office has obviously seen some recent activity, it's been ransacked.
The next room they investigate is a coffin showroom (I guess?) with many examples of the mortuary's wares on display. Jim looks inside one of the caskets while Pete watches the hall. Jim freezes when he sees the lid on another casket start to open. Pete turns his attention from the hallway to see what is happening. They aim their guns and watch as the lid continues to rise.
The lid slowly opens to reveal a very-much-alive man. Pete shows him some hospitality and the man rudely shuts the lid.
|"Welcome back to the land of the living."|
|[Sorry, not my stop.]|
|"Okay, mister, out!" orders Reed.|
Malloy doesn't want to spend all day talking about what happened yesterday, though. He wants to see if there's any criminal activity going on today. He suggests they go check out Merit Drug again.
They arrive at the closed-on-a-Sunday warehouse and immediately notice something that doesn't belong.
|"Something new's been added."|
|"Stoned," observes Reed.|
"And dangerous," adds Malloy.
The passenger tries to run, but Malloy easily catches him. He falls to the ground; "tackled" by pharmaceuticals, not Malloy.
|[That was easy.]|
At least Reed's guy has the truck to support him while he's being searched.
|Hmm...what do we have here?|
|I couldn't get a good shot of him and he's not listed in the credits, but I am 99% sure that is Fred Stromsoe|
as "bad guy in a bucket hat".
|"You called it, codeine."|
|"Looks like the candy store just closed."|
Here's what I wondered after I finished watching "Log 164: The Poachers": Was all of this conceived together as an episode or was this a bunch of leftover footage that was edited together to create an episode? As I think more about it, I guess this was all conceived as an episode. After all, their conversations in the car relate back to the call immediately preceding the car scene. But, still, it all seems like a collection of random calls linked mostly by their wardrobe. No overall theme for this episode, no great lessons to be learned here, just a regular couple of days in the lives of Officers Malloy and Reed.
There's nothing wrong with this episode, in fact it has some memorable moments and lots of one-line zingers from Malloy. It's just a change of pace from stories like "Log 76: The Militants" and "Log 165: Always a Cop". It's not bad, it's not great. It is, as someone described in a comment on this blog, a fine "utility episode". Since "Log 164: The Poachers" is not bad and not great, it earns this rating from me:
Do you agree? Let me know somewhere out here in internet land. I'll see you next time with "Log 16: A Child in Danger".