Log 65: Cigarettes, Cars, and Wild, Wild Women (Season 3, Episode 5)

And the winner is...

It's the moment you've been waiting for, it's time to announce the winner of the drawing! Thanks to everyone who entered, the response I got for the giveaway was truly overwhelming. OK, without further ado, the winner of the season 3 DVD's signed by Kent McCord is:

Sue Graves!!!!

Congratulations, Sue! Be on the lookout for an e-mail from me, please respond back to it with your shipping address and the DVD's will be on their way to you. I hope you enjoy the DVD's and Kent's autograph.

Now, the rest of you shouldn't worry. We're all winners this week, because we've got a humdinger of an episode to cover.

Episode 57

This is usually where I put a brief summary of the episode, but really the title says it all for this one.

The first car we encounter in this episode is this huge, old green one. I wonder if it's driven by one of those wild, wild women?

Doesn't look like it.

Now I've always maintained that I'd never seen Adam-12 until I decided to watch the series on Netflix almost two years ago. But, as I watched Pete walk up to this car with a grandmotherly driver in a black and white dress, I had an overwhelming sense of deja vu.

For years I had the recurring image in my head of a policeman in a hat and an old lady arguing about an amber light, however I had no idea where that memory originated. I knew I must have seen it on a TV show, but I had no idea which one. It drove me nuts, every time I drove under a yellow light I would think about that scene. As I watched Pete approach this green car, I just knew he and this woman were going to argue about whether or not the light she just drove through was red or amber. When that actually happened, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, my mystery had been solved!

After Pete and the driver have their disagreement about the color of the light she just blew through, he asks to see her license. He studies the license, then looks at the woman in front of him with a confused expression.

"Are you Prudence Armstrong?"

"Well, there's a picture. Look at it!"

"Why did you give your age as thirty-four?"

Maybe Prudence does have a wild streak after all, you'd have to be a little wild to think you could get away with a lie like that.

Back in the patrol car, Reed can't stop chuckling at Prudence's attempted deception. 

"Who does she think she's kidding?"

"Herself."

Before they can begin discussing the psychological reasons that would drive a woman to falsify official documents, they are interrupted with a radio call. A 1970, green, two-door Chevelle has been stolen from the Market at Twenty-sixth and Harding, the suspect is a female caucasian.

At the market Pete and Jim park in front of this cool water vending machine where you can have your choice of purified or "spring taste" water for only ten cents a half gallon! They meet up with this sorry excuse for a Marine who has no cover on his unkempt head.

Maybe the D.I. can straighten him out.

Cpl. Wayne L. Miller angrily explains how he picked up a girl who was hitchhiking on Twenty-fourth street and five minutes later, "bang"! His car was gone!

Pete suggests they "do this by the numbers".

[Well, you see, sirs, I was on my way to pick up my goofy kid brother from his dumb friend Larry's house when Eddie Haskell said that we should pick up this chick...I mean, girl. Well, gee, you're not gonna tell my dad about this are you? He'll be awfully sore when he finds out what happened to my car.]

Cpl. Miller, who is just back from 'Nam, can't really describe the girl he picked up other than to say that she was wearing "one of those miniskirt things, way up to here" and that she had blonde hair. 

Pete likes miniskirts, too.

After he picked up the girl, whose name he thinks was Karen, they drove around and talked for a bit. Then she said was out of cigarettes, he offered her one of his, but she insisted on her brand. So, they stopped at the market where the gallant Marine went inside to buy the young lady some smokes. He left his keys in the car so she could listen to the radio and in less than sixty seconds, his car and the girl were gone. 

Pete and Jim give Cpl. Miller a ride home.
(Are we sure this guy is really a Marine? He's now committing another uniform no-no by putting his hands in his pockets. I mean this is Los Angeles, he could have just bought this uniform at an MGM garage sale.)

After they drop off Cpl. Miller, Pete and Jim return to the station. They meet up with Mac in his office, where the watch commander tells them that there has been a rash of sixteen car thefts in the last five weeks. He then introduces them to Bert White, a man who has just had an experience similar to Miller's. The girl, a redhead, used the same MO as the blonde who stole the Marine's car.

Pete asks Mr. White how old the girl was.

A nervous Mr. White, who was only being a good Samaritan, places the girls age at 18, "give or take a year". 

Mr. White then asks for the office door to be shut so he can talk to the officers in private. He explains that he's a married man and gives them his business card with his office phone number. He wants to help, but has one stipulation. "Please don't use my home number," he begs. 

Pete, Jim, and Mac all agree to call only his office number, day or night.

With Bert White's business card in hand, Pete and Jim return to the patrol car where Jim reminisces about his first car. It was a 1950 Ford he bought for three hundred dollars. In order to save up for it he worked in his dad's gas station then at a local airport where he pumped gas and cleaned airplanes.

I'm sure Kent McCord had no problem remembering the lines about working in a gas station and an airport since he did those exact things when he was growing up. He started working at the gas station when he was ten and then started at the airport a few years later. 

Here's a picture of young Kent working at the airport.

OK, wanna hear a Kent McCord story? I don't hear any objections, so here goes. When Kent was a young man working at the airport he was a two-hundred-pound, six-foot-tall thirteen year old who went by the nickname "Buck". One day the World War II hero and movie star, Audie Murphy was at the airfield. 
He called Kent over asked the strapping young man, "Buck, how old are you?". 
Kent answered, "Thirteen, sir."
When he found out that Kent was much younger than he looked, Audie exclaimed, "Well, damn, son. What are you gonna be when you grow up?"

Anyway, back to Jim Reed and his 1950 Ford. 

Once he earned enough money, Jim bought the car and fixed it up "so it ran great". He also made some cosmetic adjustments to the vehicle. He painted the dash white, he painted the exterior lavender, and he put a big, orange gear shift knob on it.

"Sounds like a real dreamboat."

Unfortunately, Reed's story doesn't have a happy ending, the car was stolen. The radio then breaks in with a call to take Reed's mind off of his beloved "dreamboat". A man is assaulting a woman at 169 Zelzah.

When 1-Adam-12 rolls up to 169 Zelzah, a man in a white shirt and jeans is wrestling on the lawn with a woman in a black leotard and tights. When he sees the police car, the man takes off running up the street. Reed and Malloy stop long enough to check on the woman and hear from her that the man tried to steal her bike. They take off after him on the sidewalk. 

Meanwhile, the lady in the leotard goes through a fence and around the back of the houses on the block. Using her shortcut, this wild woman catches up with the guy before Malloy and Reed. She grabs him and tackles him to the ground.

Reed: "All right, that's enough, lady!"
Suspect: "Lady?!?"

Malloy and Reed come to her (or is it his) rescue and separate these two before somebody gets hurt (or a run in their tights). Now that everybody is vertical, it's time to get to the bottom of what is happening here.

Miss Leotard has had training in self defense, but she's really a professional skater. She was working out this afternoon and came down to her garage to get some more weights. That's when she caught the suspect trying to steal her motorcycle.

As Malloy starts to walk the would-be thief to the patrol car, Miss Leotard coyly asks the handsome officer if he is mad at her.

"Why should I be mad?"

She explains that she thought he would be upset with her for capturing the suspect. On the contrary, Malloy is grateful for the help. After hearing this, she smiles then saunters away to continue her exercises.

(Sexy sax music plays in the background.)

"Whadda ya think?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds I may incriminate myself."

Later that day in the car, Reed asks Malloy for his opinion once again. Only this time it's not about a girl, it's about a TV. He wants to know what his older and wiser partner thinks about having two television sets.

"You mean one for each eye? I live alone, remember?"

Oh, silly Pete, Jim isn't talking about you. He's talking about him and Jean. He wants to surprise Jean for her birthday with another set that she can watch in the kitchen. But, they have an agreement to discuss any large purchases first. He can't really surprise her with a TV if he has to discuss it with her first, can he? As usual, Pete comes to the rescue. He suggests the Jim buy the set "on approval". Problem solved.

Does buying "on approval" still happen? I've never experienced this type of purchase, so I had to look up what this means.
Here's the definition of buying on approval according to businessdictionary.com:

Arrangement under which items of durable nature (such as appliances, books, equipment) are provided to a prospective customer for a pre-purchase trial. These items are returnable after a specified period in re-saleable condition if not accepted for purchase.

Just as Pete solves Jim's problem the radio provides him with another problem to solve. This time it's unknown trouble at 215 West Adams.

Nobody answers the doorbell at 215 West Adams, but a weak voice tells them to "come in". After they enter the house, the same voice directs them into a bedroom. There they find that the voice belongs to Clara Fisher, a shut-in lying on a hospital bed. 

Pete and Jim greet Miss Fisher and try to determine what the trouble is.

Come closer and let me count your freckles, young man.

Clara is totally dependent on her nephew, Joey Boy, who she hasn't seen since they had lunch earlier today. Since Joey Boy's departure she's been victimized by by strange sounds and smells, that's why she has called the police. Clara describes the sounds as "rhythmic, muffled footsteps in the distance" and the smell is a "harsh, course, almost bitter smell". 

[You know what that means.]

[Hippies!]

Clara asks Malloy if he is familiar with the smell.

"Maybe."

The old woman is relieved that he knows what she is describing, she thought she was going mad. Just then some groovy sitar music can be heard in the distance and Clara once again spots that acrid, bitter smell. Malloy and Reed leave her bedside to go investigate.

In the hallway they find their first clue, a marijuana plant. But Malloy wonders how the thing gets any light in the windowless hall. 

Reed looks under the plant stand and solves the mystery of the missing light. A powerful grow light is stashed under the planter. He strings it up from the wall sconce and turns it on.

"You can grow anything under that."

When they hear the familiar Mark VII party music begin, they know they mustn't waste any more time, there are hippies to arrest. The officers make their way downstairs where they find two long-haired couples having a far-out dance party.

Party's over, hippies, here come da fuzz.

They find, Joey Boy, the host of this groovy party and tell him that is aunt called the police. Joe can't believe he and his friends are being arrested for "one lousy pot party". Then he says the one thing you do not say to a Mark VII cop while being arrested for a narcotics violation.

"I don't see you bothering the squares who lap up the booze."

This is Malloy's cue to go all Joe Friday on Joey Boy's pot-smoking ass.

"To begin with drinking liquor is legal, smoking pot is not. Growing it is not, possession is not, that's for openers."

He goes on to tell Joey and his friends that pot smoking leads to heroin use, "the mainline to nowhere". After he's done with the anti-drug speech, everyone is marched out to the black and white. Hopefully Reed called for backup at some point, because I don't think all of those hippies are going to fit in the backseat.

After they drop off the Joey Boy dance party at the station, Pete and Jim are back on the streets of Los Angeles where they spot two men engaged in suspicious behavior. 

These two guys are pushing a safe across the street using a makeshift dolly made from two pipes and a board. Pete stops the car and he and Jim get out to have a chat with the men.

One of the men claims that the safe belongs to him and his friend corroborates his story. However, he has no way to prove that the safe is his and not a stolen piece of property. Pete comes up with an easy way for him to prove his ownership.

"Open it."

The man in the green shirt easily works the combination and opens the safe door revealing it's valuable contents, two cans of Golden Age beer.

He asks Malloy to join them, but the on-duty officer politely refuses.

Once he's back behind the wheel of the black and white, Malloy wishes that he could've partaken in throwing back a brew with the safe owner. It's been a long day and, as Reed points out, they still have a long way to go.

"Some days you finish your watch you feel like you just pulled out of the parking lot, other days..."

Reed thinks his partner's fatigue is a sign of age and offers to let him relax for the rest of the shift, he tells Malloy that he'll carry him for the remainder of the day.

"You'll carry me?"

Reed will get his chance to start carrying his partner sooner than he thinks. On a nearby street corner a comely young lass in a miniskirt has her thumb out looking for a ride. A red convertible quickly comes to the young lady's aid. Malloy and Reed decide to follow the sports car and find out if the female passenger has run out of cigarettes.

That's a 1970 Dodge Challenger picking up the purple-clad cutie and that's a white over gold Mustang next to the Challenger.

Sure enough, the Challenger comes to a stop in front of a liquor store. The driver goes inside while the girl stays in the car.

Reed watches the red car from down the street.

After a few seconds the red car pulls away from the curb, leaving it's owner stranded at the liquor store. 1-Adam-12 follows behind the car, but Malloy stays behind a few cars and doesn't use the sirens or reds. The slow pursuit frustrates Reed who wants to capture the car thief. 

Malloy can't believe that these girls are just out for joy rides. He thinks that this felonious filly will lead them to a bigger payoff than one stolen Challenger.

They follow the convertible to an auto body shop where the door opens for the Challenger after a series of coded honks. Pete parks the patrol car and they walk up the drive to the shop door. They peer between the stickers on the front window and see a giggling gaggle of mini-skirted minions gathered around the red convertible. 

Can you see the policemen in this picture?

This ain't Petticoat Junction.

The girl who just delivered the Challenger asks Tom, the boss of the operation, how she did. He tells her she did alright and hands her some bills.

When the car pimp gives her her cut, Sally whines that it's almost enough for her prom dress and begs him for another job. Tom can't give her another job for two reasons, he doesn't have another order and she has to wait her turn.

Meanwhile, outside the garage, Pete tells Jim to call for backup. Jim doesn't understand why his FTO is asking him to call for backup to bring in one guy. Pete explains that it's not just Tom who they will be capturing.

"And a basketful of kittens. You ever try rounding them up?"
Reed sees his point and goes to the car to call for assistance. 

Immediately after Reed ends his radio transmission, Sally leaves the garage to get a soda.

Reed sees her.

Malloy sees her.

Sally sees that they see her, but decides to keep walking with a confident smile.

Doesn't Sally look familiar? Where have we seen her before?

She's the runaway from episode 12! Glad to see that she got over her infectious hepatitis.

Sally then tries to make a run for it, but Malloy and Reed grab her. Malloy busts into the garage and orders Tom and his girls to up against one of the many cars in the place. Reed enters with the squirming, hissing kitty named Sally.

[Up against the car. If you're wearing a miniskirt, do not put your feet back and spread 'em. This is a family show.]

"You're treating us like common criminals," protests Sally.
"You are, we saw you steal a car," counters Reed.

After Malloy and Reed have all the cats and kittens rounded up, Mac and another backup officer arrive on the scene. Seeing that they have suspects in custody, Mac lets Malloy know he'll contact detectives to get in touch with the victims for identification. Before he makes his call Malloy pulls the sergeant aside to remind him of their agreement with Bert White.

"Be sure to tell detectives to call him at the office, not at home."

The End

When I realized that this would be the next episode I was covering I thought, "Oh, that's the one that doesn't quite live up to it's awesome title." Boy, was I wrong. This episode not only has a really great, fun title; but it is also a really great and fun installment to watch. This is my favorite type of Adam-12 episode, one with lots of calls to keep the action moving and a more involved investigation into a bigger case. Add equal parts humor and drama, throw in some pretty girls and a true-life Kent McCord story and you've got a top-notch episode.

Since "Log 65: Cigarettes, Cars, and Wild, Wild Women" has all those things and a memorable title, I give it a rating of:

Do you agree? Let me know what you think in the comments! See you next time.

KMA-367